Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
