Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
