Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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