I think i peed on brittanys purse
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
