Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
