i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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