It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You ruined the universe
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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