i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
