What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
