I'm laying in your front yard are you home
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
