Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
