Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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