Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
