so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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