My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
