dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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