I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
