Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
