i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
