READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
