Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
