Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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