omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
