so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
