covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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