He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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