just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
i think im in europe. pls send help
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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