I must be too annoying 4 u.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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