My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
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