don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
