I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
