All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
