And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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