I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
time to smoke my breakfast
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
