So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
