a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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