woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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