I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
