She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
There's always time for handjobs
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
