You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
