i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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