She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
