vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
