hotel room ftw
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
