maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
