his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm sobbing to NWA
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
