I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
