Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
