very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
