Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
