and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
