need another drink. this is the easiest way
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
