He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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